Take a Pillow and Throw It

Book Excerpt

The social worker, having been to a recent workshop by Dr. Kubler-Ross (the expert on death and dying), proposed a simplistic exercise which she claimed had been demonstrated with a birthmother. “Take a pillow in your hands and have that pillow represent all your feelings surrounding the loss of your baby. Then, simply throw it. And know that you’re now rid of all those feelings.” Ms. D. smiled kindly when she said it; I knew she meant well. So, I didn’t tell her what was on my mind! I knew that many health professionals had their heads in the sand about the true nature of birthmother issues. Even conflicts of interest had been ignored; a woman trying to adopt a baby would certainly have a conflict of interest in counseling a woman whose chief issue was the loss of a baby to adoption! Still, I remained in the group and tried to derive whatever benefit I could from the group experience, acknowledging the areas in which the facilitators were competent. And after reading in the newspaper about Truth Seekers in Adoption, I knew that my special need would be addressed in my newly found group.
From the book: Search for Paul David
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Note: Truth Seekers in Adoption was founded by L. McCurdy.)